Girls, Gains and Growing Pains
Get ready to start working smarter and harder to achieve your fitness goals. In every episode, we break down common health and fitness questions in a fun and relatable way. Whether you’re a beginner or far along on your fitness journey, this podcast is for you.
Girls, Gains and Growing Pains
Support Systems: The Team Behind Your Transformation
Navigating a fitness journey isn't just about the physical grind; it's an emotional marathon. The strength of your support systems in the form of family, friends, a coach, or a community will inevitably affect your health and wellness goals. In this episode, we share how impactful our support systems are, for better or worse, and share practical tips for helping your loved ones prioritize a healthy and fitness-focused lifestyle.
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This is Girls Gains and Growing Pains, a podcast about working smarter and harder to achieve your fitness goals. In every episode, we break down common health and fitness questions in a fun and relatable way.
Speaker 2:Whether you're a beginner or far along on your fitness journey, this podcast is for you. I'm Rachel Johns, a bikini bodybuilder, nutrition certified through Precision Nutrition and an ASIM certified personal trainer.
Speaker 1:And I'm Julia Ross, just a regular gal trying to get healthier and lose weight.
Speaker 2:It is important to note that neither of us are medical professionals and the views expressed on this podcast are those of the host, so we're gonna jump right in. I'm really excited about this episode because this is actually one of the first questions that I like to ask people when onboarding clients is is do you have people supporting you in this journey?
Speaker 2:because, fitness journeys can be really long, really hard, really emotional, and they can feel really lonely, yeah, and I know firsthand how sometimes I feel with that, because I'm on I'm on this journey that's really, really intense and that's really on this really far end of the spectrum of fitness where I don't drink anymore, like I stopped drinking alcohol altogether for over a year and a half now my gosh and I am committed to my gym time and, and you know, sometimes that means maybe I don't stay out as late because I need to hit the gym early in the morning.
Speaker 2:Vacationing when I go on vacation, I still hit the gym. I have personally experienced that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it can be this feeling of loneliness where your circle changes because of these new habits you're picking up, and it's good to have a support system because of because of the all these changes you're making. And that's the same whether it's what I'm doing or what you're doing is because you have to make changes and you have to have support in that, because there are so many temptations that just creepy crawl Towards. I mean it just everywhere. If there were temptations everywhere, these would be really easy journeys and like it wouldn't require intense coaching, it wouldn't require a lot of self-discipline and but one of the things that comes with that is having people alongside you to nurture that journey with you.
Speaker 2:And I think that's super, super important, and and so for you, you, your support system well, is me, obviously obviously but you have your family, so let's talk about that first, because I know I've talked to your family about the stuff you're doing and they listen to the podcast it's true, hi and hello, and. And so what is that like for you when, um, I know like they sent you a video of them listening to the podcast oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Not just listening to the podcast, but listening to our hydration episode, while all of them drank water and said we're staying hydrated, listening.
Speaker 3:We'll have to post that I. It just warmed my heart and it was so cute. Well, and they'll text me little updates, Like my dad said about the body composition episode. He texted me and commented on just how he never really thought about it that way and how it was so exciting and it just it really warms my heart to have them be so supportive of something that I was initially really nervous. Wouldn't heart. To have them be so supportive of something that I was initially really nervous wouldn't make sense to them, you know.
Speaker 2:So that that was really exciting because it's a whole different world when you're like, hey, just so you know like I'm gonna be doing a lot of different things and, like it's, I'm gonna be making really big changes, and sometimes people might not be supportive of that, out of maybe like a almost like an envious feeling of like they start to see you make these great changes and feel better, and then all of a sudden it's like can you believe she's doing that? You know like it can go one of two ways. It can be like wow, that's amazing. Like when she comes, make sure we have food for her. Or it can be the opposite and be like well, come on, you've been eating healthy, just splurge.
Speaker 2:And I think that's where I kind of want to go with the support system. Yeah, is we can kind of give recommendations for significant others, for family members, for friends who might have other people on these journeys. And if you're someone on the journey and you feel like you know what, maybe my friends do need a bit of guidance on how to support me in this, because as friends, it's not super normal to help your friend who is trying to lose weight, who's, you know, preparing for some sort of competition, whether it's powerlifting, whether it's bodybuilding or or a race or something like that.
Speaker 2:You know they all require a style of training and a discipline, and I think it's hard for people to know how to be supportive in those situations, because you don't want to be the friend that's like oh yeah, weigh out your food, like, because then everyone else kind of looks at you like, oh, why is she being so, um, like almost overly supportive? And then there's the people that are like, oh, that's so annoying, like we can't go out to eat because you know she can't eat this or he can't eat this or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I know, when I first started bodybuilding that's something I kind of experienced was like I didn't go out to eat as much, and it was like because it's hard for you to track, and especially when you're in prep, you know you can't do that, and your significant other especially has to be on board with that, and it's hard for them because they're like I want to go out to eat and, um, I was listening to another podcast about they only talk about bodybuilding, though, and what they were saying is the coach, who is married to a competitor. He was like isn't it crazy, though, that a significant others like we get upset that our, our, our spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend is just trying to better themselves, and we're the ones upset like they're the ones cutting their food and having to actually do it and we're the ones sitting here.
Speaker 2:He's like that's such an entitled person, like thing. It's like no, like they're the ones doing it. So why not nurture them in that, encourage them in that, make them feel good that they're doing that, because start to make you feel like, oh, I'm the reason we can't go out, like I'm the reason for this.
Speaker 2:It's like your person is just trying to be healthier for your overall life and relationship. Yeah, so I think it's really important that we talk about ways that you can be supportive of someone, whether it's in a weight loss journey or whether it's in they're preparing for something. Maybe maybe they're getting married, maybe your best friend's getting married and she's trying to lose weight for her wedding. Like how can you be supportive in that? So what are some ways that maybe your friends, your family, significant others could be supportive in you in a weight loss journey?
Speaker 3:um, definitely referencing like the being supportive in a not like annoyed way, you know, like like my family's just a hundred percent supportive all the time. So when I visit my family um, I work remote so I can visit them for a good amount of time and they always ask for what food they can have available which is really helpful. And if I go for my temptation food, they won't, you know, physically restrain me from having it, but they'll make comments like, okay, like I are you sure you want to do like that with your diet? They'll be like, oh my gosh, like it's fine. And then it's important that you don't, I think, take like a policing kind of attitude, but just like it's, it's like a supportive nudge, it's. It's the same way that you would remind, you know, I think of like reminding people to do their homework. You know it's just kind of it's good, it's like it's something you do. There's not like anything wrong about doing that, but it's yeah. So things that have most supported me has definitely been having healthy food available.
Speaker 3:Um, mental health check-ins have been really helpful for my support group.
Speaker 3:One thing that will happen and I'm laughing, I'm looking around at my part right now one thing that will happen when my mental health is not doing as good, as my plants will start dying, and so you can like they're most of them are gone, but, um, my parents will call me and they'll say okay, how many plants are dying right now, like what?
Speaker 3:And so that's been helpful because I know for a lot of people with like mental health struggles and those who are also, at the same time, trying to pursue a fitness journey, it can be really easy to pour all of our efforts into the fitness journey because that's really rewarding and we get a lot of external comments on it and it's super easy to control, whereas you can't really control your anxiety or control your adhd or depression. So I think I extra have leaned on my support group for that mental health support as well and reminding me to prioritize that too, because it's just fitness is so easy to just gas people up and be like, oh my god, like the physical changes are amazing, like you're doing so good. But our last episode on body dysmorphia, like there's a lot of mental load that comes with fitness journeys of any kind. So I think that's what I need the most out of my support group and thankfully I get a ton of it from the people in my life, including you, which is sappy, but like oh my god.
Speaker 3:So that's what I would say. What about you, though? What do you find most helpful?
Speaker 2:well. So, unlike you, yeah my family. Okay, first of all premise I love my family we love them, shout out but they are not super supportive of the bodybuilding stuff I do.
Speaker 1:Tragic.
Speaker 2:It's because it is an interesting sport. You're in a bikini and it's all about how you look, and I always joke with my mom. I'm like I was a gymnast, Like you started me out this way, Like this is the adult version, Literally though. It's just easier on my joints. Yeah, so, and I go home, home, and I was pescatarian for a long time.
Speaker 2:I remember that and I would go home and my mom's like, so I have salmon burgers, and that would be like the only food I could eat. And then we'd like sit down for dinner and because my mom's always been a very like homemaker and so we never cook when we come home but we'd sit down for dinner and I'm like, oh, so do I have a salmon burger? And she's like, oh, I forgot, I'll microwave it real quick. No, and so so the?
Speaker 2:because there are four of us kids and we all have significant others and then usually when I'm home it's like my grandma and it's my parents and it might be another relative. So it is a lot of people and I know that is a struggle for um the cooking to accommodate what I need. So what we started doing is I would go home and I would take my mom's car to the grocery store and I would just get all my own food. So I told my mom to finally just be like you know what. I understand that it's like kind of stressful for her, but also like for me. I love having control of what I eat and for me to go to the grocery store on my own, because I mean, I don't live close to home. Like you could live a little bit closer at least.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm flying from California to Indiana if I'm going home so it's like, it's like once a year, yeah, so for her to like completely change all the food we're making for once a year.
Speaker 2:I do kind of understand that. But she's also gotten gotten better about like if I go grocery shopping, she's like okay, here's my credit card you can buy the food.
Speaker 1:You know, like kind of in that, how she gets supportive.
Speaker 2:I don't think she'll ever come to a bodybuilding show Okay, which is fine, Okay, and. But you know what's cool, though, is I openly talk to them more about my fitness journey and my dad just got a personal trainer for the first time.
Speaker 1:Okay, so exciting.
Speaker 2:And you know my sister's been going to the gym with her husband and actually with her father-in-law, and so that's been kind of cool, as I feel like they are in some way taking what I'm doing and doing it in their own, and for me that's almost like an indirect support for me, cause I'm like, okay, like we're all kind of doing this now. Okay, so my sister and I more openly talk about fitness than I think we ever have, and so for me that's kind of what I need from them now for my friends and from Ephraim, my fiance. Um, he loves to go out to eat. This is very true he loves not to eat.
Speaker 2:He likes to go out with his friends. We go to parties. He does drink and I don't. He likes to taste tequila. Just for like a backstory, julia came to this dinner with us one time with all of Ephraim's friends. Now Ephraim's friends are closer to his age, in their 40s, where Julia and I are still in our 20s, and they were like tequila tasting, but like just straight tequila, like sipping on tequila, and Julia and I were just cracking up. We're like I don't think anyone's enjoying this.
Speaker 3:I'm watching everyone, me being a sober Sally with her water.
Speaker 2:And I'm just like this doesn't look appetizing at all.
Speaker 3:Well, and it was hard because it was expensive, expensive tequila, tequila, and I was very out of my element and so I thought we were just taking shots. So I was, I was ready to get lit, you know, and then all of a sudden I like they're just sipping, they've got like their little pinkies up, yeah, and so julia took like maybe one sip of alcohol.
Speaker 3:Then I was like, okay, we're good well, I well, because I had to keep finishing it, because every time I turned down a round I felt bad, so I would sip it, but then I would taste like barbecue afterwards or something. So mad respect for people that can really let tequila sit on your tongue. That's very impressive. It's gross.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, but.
Speaker 3:I guess.
Speaker 2:Going with that, though, is those are scenarios where I am my own support system in that Like.
Speaker 2:I don't ever take away from Ephraim's experiences in those, because you know what, like that's something that he hasn't felt, like he wants to give up his alcohol, and I know a lot of people feel that way and that's fine and, um, I know, in those moments like he doesn't drink very often, like that was probably once every two weeks, and him and I had the discussion about, okay, what does it look like to support me in not drinking?
Speaker 2:and it also not be like me just sitting there staring at him if he doesn't want to drink because he's like essentially drinking alone, and so we kind of came to the agreement that if it's just us two, like there, doesn't need to be any alcohol involved. No, and that's how he's supporting me, in that it is hard as a 27 year old to go to parties, to go out to restaurants, travel whatever that looks like, and be the person that's not drinking. I mean, we go to all-inclusive resorts or whatever and you can have unlimited alcohol there.
Speaker 2:And yeah, because it's not that you don't like the taste of alcohol, you like it so much that you have I'm gonna call you out here alcohol free wine yeah, I love the taste of wine, yeah, and, but I know for my fitness goals like, that's not, that's not in the cards and that's a choice I've made and even I've talked about it because you know he he would like us to be able to go wine tasting and things like that.
Speaker 2:But it because you know he he would like us to be able to go wine tasting and things like that. But he doesn't make me feel bad for not drinking. He understands where my goals are and I think for me that's all I need out of the support of a partner, because I am very self-motivated and I am blessed that I am. I actually just did my Enneagram because we did premarital counseling with our pastor and my Enneagram, I think, is one or eight or something and it's the competitive person and it doesn't have to be competitive with someone I know Like. I am very driven to be the best that I can be and that's the best, whether it's a competition.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's very so my support system. I just need him to not make me feel bad, and he doesn't, because we can still go out and sometimes before we we go out, I'll eat like six ounces of boiled chicken so that I'm high on protein so all I yeah.
Speaker 2:So all I need is like a little bit of things here and there and it works. Yeah, it totally works for us and I also get very motivated, um, and have a support system with my clients, because even though I'm their support system, and if you're a client with a coach who is also in their own fitness journey, like you can be a measure of support for them too, really, because they are they're grinding it out too, like they're seeing you at 6 am guys, they also got to get up at 5 to get there by 6. They also have to get their workout later in the day. They have other clients, you know, whatever that is.
Speaker 2:But if you're like, hey, I saw you lifting in here the other day. You looked really good, that is such good support for them like I. I have clients that tell me that and I'm like thank you, like I appreciate that, like you can be a support system for I mean even people you don't know. One of the other trainers came up to me and he said, hey, my client saw you lifting and she was like I've never seen a girl with like that good of a back and he was like.
Speaker 1:He was like.
Speaker 2:I knew that would make your day oh, those support systems.
Speaker 2:You can really be a support system for anyone in a fitness journey, and whether that's you see a girl at the gym that you always see there and, um, whatever journey she's on, and you think her leggings are cute and she she's rocking them, go tell her, like that's how you can be. It's kind of like that thing where, like, leaving a nice comment on an instagram post is like the minimal effort to be a big support for someone and it's offering um, like the words of encouragement, but sometimes the support system just comes from like words of affirmation and then also making sure they don't feel like a burden when it comes to your lifestyle and again, like if you're someone supporting someone in a fitness journey, they're bettering themselves, yeah, and they're putting in the work.
Speaker 2:So do not take that focus and put it on yourself, of like, but I don't get to go out and drink, like what? Do you see how crazy that sounds, though? When it's like let's say it's your boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, and they're trying to make themselves feel better, look better. You know, create healthier habits and you're the one that's upset well, I can, even, I mean I'll.
Speaker 3:I'll be honest here, like I met you and then a couple months later, you started your bodybuilding journey and you're not drinking alcohol and sometimes I do wonder, I'm like man, like I wonder what it would have been like for us to have a riotous drunken weekend in Vegas.
Speaker 2:So funny you say that too, because I was in prep in Vegas with Efren and his friends. Yes, and Efren and his friends do like bottle service. They do the day clubs the night clubs, and you know what? It was a blast. I didn't have the slightest sip of alcohol.
Speaker 1:Like I didn't have any alcohol.
Speaker 3:You never do.
Speaker 2:And I didn't go over on my food. No, I stayed right on track. But it was kind of cool because I felt like I was able to be in any sort of lifestyle and Ephraim still like supported me so well in that, which was amazing. Like we went to like the day club and he was like, what do you need? And I was like, okay, they have sushi platters of just sashimi, so then I don't have to have any rice and it's all protein, yeah. And then I was like, okay, and I just want like a diet coke. And he like went to the waitress.
Speaker 1:He's like I need this and this this is for Rachel.
Speaker 2:No one else eat it. So it is like I can still do those things exactly. And it's cool though, because he's he's really learned how to support me, support me in those ways where I don't feel bad, like in the way he supported me in front of his friends. It was like, yeah, she's not drinking. He was like, oh, yeah, she's in prep for this show, like she looks so good, like hyping me up, and I think that's where it's amazing. Uh, if you have a friend or a spouse or whatever that it looks like, or even your family, that where, if you guys go do something, where maybe it is that kind of environment that, instead of making them feel bad and almost humiliating them in front of people like that they care about or like you know whatever, that is a way that you can take that pressure off of them and make them feel so good for their choices, with it not making harm to anyone else.
Speaker 3:Well, and I've seen him do that, like we were at a party where neither of us were drinking. I think I had one drink and then I was like I'm going to regret this tomorrow. So then I just had water for the rest of the night and you had had water all night and Efren was drinking and one of his friends was there. This was the the basement bar party.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the birthday party yes.
Speaker 3:And um, and so Ephraim's friend I'm sorry, friend, I'm forgetting your name Ephraim's friend was like, um, oh, why isn't she drinking? Like she's not pregnant or anything, right, like nothing's happening. And Ephraim, just like without even thinking, was just like, oh no, she doesn't drink, she's training for a bodybuilding competition, like it's so cool. So I was just sitting there, I was like excellent, like cheers by water to that.
Speaker 3:And then on that same like vein, like the two of us we danced as much as everyone else did that that you, against your will, me willingly, yeah, but we, we had a perfectly fine time like it's, so I I think it's important to to note that, like, even though other people need to do like certain stuff, like eat a lot to feel better or drink to feel better, like and you can still totally do those things in moderation but like if your fitness journey requires that you not drink or your fitness journey requires that you eat less or certain kinds of food of certain kinds of especially bar food, cause it's so, so buttery and so fatty and so hard to control, especially when you're drunk, cause you're like, oh, just have all the fries, I won't get my little to-go box, like I always do.
Speaker 3:No, no, so yeah, it's better to have company in those I always think of like having at least one friend.
Speaker 2:That's like a buffer friend well, yeah, and there's ways to like. So for me, I I don't want Ephraim or any of my friends to be like because I'll order food at a place like that and then they'll be like are you sure you want that? And I'm like, I know how to count my food, so don't also, like you said, be the police friend, like it's not your job to be over the top, but it's your job to be supportive in their decisions in that moment and like, say, say, hey, if you want the.
Speaker 2:Let's say they want three fries. Because that's how I am. I'm like there's only three fries. If you're like, okay, let's order the fries, you can have a few of them, and then, like we'll hand the rest out to other people. Yeah, so that's how we kind of handle those situations, which is nice, because he's not like are you sure you want the fries?
Speaker 2:he's like okay, you know what we're in this setting and like maybe you can smell them and they smell good, and like I just want a few. I'm not I can't overeat on fried foods to my stomach, but that's a. That's a time where he he's been really supportive in knowing how to be supportive of like oh okay, you want that. Fine, there's 10 other people at this birthday party like that we were at. They can have the rest.
Speaker 3:Totally.
Speaker 2:And like great, yeah, we do that and that's, that's been such good support and he's like mastered that now. And actually, too is another thing that is really cool, for if you are someone supporting someone on whatever kind of fitness health journey it is, is to learn more about it, and so ifran actually told me. So we went. We drove to vegas a few weeks ago for a bodybuilding show to go watch it. I had two sessions where I was meeting with coaches for posing. My coach was there, his girlfriend was there, he had people competing and I noticed efren was like asking my coach a lot of questions and asking the posings. Phoebe Hagen was there, oh my God, and Ephraim was asking Phoebe questions and then we we did a posing session with this girl named Malou and he was, he was videoing me the whole time and like really, learning and you know he like the whole weekend.
Speaker 2:I just felt like he was more like into it and so we were driving home and he was like, hey, I told myself going into this weekend, like this is something you really care about and I'm gonna learn about it this weekend. I'm not gonna be complacent, I'm not following you around to these events. He's like I'm gonna ask Enrique questions, I'm gonna ask the posing coaches questions so I can learn. And he did, because even now, when I practice my posing, he's like remember when she said this you need to do this a little bit more. Like he really took it in.
Speaker 2:That's so sweet, exactly, and that's how a support system can be so so, so supportive for you, um, without them being overbearing, it's just like they're just learning. So, yeah, if you're, if your family is like, hey, we were learning about macros and we know that this food is really low fat and high protein, so we got some for you, you're gonna be like wow, like that's amazing, like that feels really good it's almost like a love language yeah, it is because how many there's like five love languages, like the sixth love language is yeah
Speaker 2:caring about a fitness journey yeah, it's, it's caring enough that you're taking now your own time to learn, and that can be just so, so supportive. And and I have a client right now where she says to me all the time she's like I am so blessed to have a husband who really cares about this and is just following me right alongside that, supporting me in it, seeing what you're telling me to do, helping me execute that and help her with other tasks in the house. Because when we first started talking she was like well, but usually when I come home my husband might be hungry, so I need to take time to make him food before I go work out. And I said, well, how about you guys talk about that maybe? Maybe he makes his own food while you go start your workout and then he'll join you in the workout. And he did that good and it's cool that you you can ask for your support system.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Because maybe they don't know. That's what you need, though.
Speaker 3:That's true.
Speaker 2:So now, as looking at ourselves, what are some things we can tell are our circles of what we might need. Hmm, Because that is a hard reflection to be like what do I need from other people?
Speaker 1:I know I'm like.
Speaker 2:Because these journeys are not alone.
Speaker 3:That's where they start to get lonely my therapist even asked me this this week. She goes what would help like what? What do you need help with? I'm like girl, I don't know. But I mean today was really great because, um, rachel joined me at the grocery store and we went through the grocery store and looked through some healthy options for snacking and sipping because I do a lot of board eating, so just kind of shaking up the palate a little bit. So that was really fun and practical. Um, but when your best friend isn't a personal trainer, slash nutritional expert To go through all the grocery sales.
Speaker 3:Yeah more pedestrian assistance. I love when people tell me that they went to the gym, which is so random, and I'll explain it. Because if people ask me if I go to the gym besides, like you, obviously I'll feel a little guilty and a little bit of shame. And if other people just tell me that they went to the gym, I get excited and that triggers a little bit of competitiveness in me and I'm like okay well, now I need to go to the gym.
Speaker 3:So anytime one of like your fellow trainees, you know, post a gym selfie or messages me like oh, I was thinking of you at the gym today At Allie yeah, literally I was like. Oh, I was thinking of you at the gym today At Allie yeah, literally I was like yeah, we all know who I'm talking about. That is really supportive and helpful for me. So just little twists like that where instead of you say OK, like did you go to the gym today, you can say, hey, I went to the gym today and I hit this. Are you going to the gym today? Are you hitting this anytime soon? Yeah, what are you hitting? Yeah, but if you frame it like I did this, so you should do it too. Like that partnership and coming alongside is the most powerful allyship I think I've experienced so far.
Speaker 3:Okay good yeah, what about you?
Speaker 2:yeah, what about you? Well, I think for me I, my dad calls me his shark and I am his. I am totally a shark where a little shark I I know what my goals are and I know where I'm going and no matter what anyone tells me, it doesn't matter. That's so cute. He's always told people that. When they're like what are your kids like? He's like Rachel's a shark, that's a thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, he's like when she smells blood she goes that's kind of sick. That's cool. That's how my dad sees me, but he's not wrong. When I've always had goals, I go for them and I think that's what makes me as a coach a little bit better, because I don't have so much distraction going on with where I get my motivation from. I think that's I was just born like my dad, which is how he is, yeah, um. But I think for me, my motivation motivation through my friends is simply like just being like oh hey, your gym outfit was cute Like just little words of affirmation here and there, because, honestly, the most affirmation I seek is from my coach.
Speaker 2:I'm always just like tell me I'm doing good. It's because he's the most unattainable. I think that's true, because I really do appreciate when people you know tell me oh hey, you're making such good progress. And even the other day at the gym I was working out and one of the other trainers who him and I used to work out a little bit more together he just came back to Equinox. I was doing an exercise and I hear one of the other girl trainers she's like dang go, rachel and I was doing back and I turn around and Isaiah's filming me and he's like you just look jacked right now, and I was like I think that's what I need is like just the affirmation that I'm doing well, because it's really easy for me to like be like oh well, enrique didn't say this, or Enrique didn't say that, oh my god, I need to send him this episode be like.
Speaker 2:I need more affirmation seriously though but for my friends it's just like because I, I can do the daily routine, I can hit my macros, I can hit my workouts and I am pushing myself. I think for me it's just having friends who don't make me feel bad for the journey I'm on, because some people are painfully. They're just like oh, but don't get too much muscle, you're going to like too much. Like. Those kind of comments are really frustrating for me because I'm like, I'm like do you know how hard it is to look jacked? I'm like putting in the like do you know how hard it is to look jacked? I'm like putting in the effort daily, you know, and I think it's just affirming that, hey, I see you and you're doing great.
Speaker 2:That, for me, is all they need is just because, honestly, like Ephraim is so good at words of affirmation and from him I don't need the fitness affirmation from him, I need like the, the spousal, like yeah, you know that words of affirmation. But when it comes to my specific fitness journey, it is the tiny little comments that make me feel better. And, like Allie's actually really good about that too, she she'll like comment on my story and just be like dang, you're absolutely good and I'm like that's all I on my story and just be like dang, your apps look good and I'm like that's all I needed.
Speaker 2:I just needed that little like I'm not alone and so I don't, yeah, so that's where I need my support. But I know other people who maybe they don't have the family support that they're looking for which, I mean, is similar in my situation too. Maybe they don't have their friends' support, maybe their kids aren't supportive, but that's where having, if at anything like, okay, the front desk people at the gym and that might sound crazy, but I used to work out with this girl who she was not a gym goer she started going to the gym with me every day and I loved it because I had a gym buddy. Now, given she had never been going to the gym so I was pretty much training her while we went to the gym together.
Speaker 2:But she was making so much progress and she was able to go by herself then. And I remember one day she came up to me she's like Rachel. I walked in and the front desk guy knew my name before I scanned in and she said I have never been so into fitness, where the front desk people know my name, and for her that was such big motivation yeah that was like a support system.
Speaker 2:So even if you're friends, family, whatever people see you and just use that as another form of support to walk in, say hi the to the front desk and be like how's your day going? And they might say what are you hitting today? And that's where you're getting some support, because people who work at a gym they care about their members. Like people who work at gyms don't make a ton of money, like they really do care about your physical well-being. And even if you're not training with a trainer, I have people at the gym who simply update me on their progress, even if they're not my client, and for me I'm like, hey, you're killing it, I see you in here every day. Like, find your support system within a gym too, if you feel like you don't have that other support from other people.
Speaker 2:Because also just remember, sometimes your family not supporting you, sometimes your friends not supporting you, isn't because it's not out of like this bad, like like they don't care about me, but a lot of time it it makes them reflect inwardly and it's it comes from a place of like self-consciousness, envy that you're taking care of yourself, doing something that they think they can't do. So that's where you have to start creating your circle to get that support and finding people who who are going to motivate you and see you and see what you're doing. Um, because not everyone you can be rely on for support. Some people don't have it in them to support you, because of their own mental health stuff, which you've touched on.
Speaker 2:It's like there's a lot. There's a lot to maintain, no, and so just remember, your support system can come from an array of people, really, totally so. I mean, even like I said, you, you and Allie, are each other's support system a little bit, and you guys don't even know each other, not even like a lot bit well and we'll even say you know, oh, you're like cardio goals or you're this goals and it's.
Speaker 3:It's really powerful and even beyond what we've said so far. Like you can find a community online as well, like for all of my fellow reddit users. I posted on a fitness subreddit, which is basically like a community if you're not familiar with that platform and I made a ton of friends from all around the world just talking about like camaraderie over weight loss journeys and different habits I could adopt and what worked for them and what might work for me.
Speaker 3:So you can really find a community anywhere, but you have to put yourself out there, I think, in order to receive the support.
Speaker 2:Maybe we'll build a community. Maybe we'll figure out how to do that on the internet. Honestly, that'd be awesome. We've spoken it into existence now.
Speaker 3:So now I have to do it.
Speaker 2:We're manifesting it. I just have to figure out how technology works well enough for that. I need to figure out how it works. Let us know what platform people would actually use. You're out of works. Let us know what platform people would actually use, because Facebook is great, but sometimes there's like those little Instagram communities in the messages.
Speaker 3:I'm not walking on Facebook. I can't do it.
Speaker 2:Let us know what the easiest platform for people to use. No, I would do it for you guys. Do the Facebook? Yeah, that would be really cool.
Speaker 1:No, we should do that.
Speaker 2:So, because there's always room for more support, there's always room for more motivation or just reassurance that it's okay that you're not going out to eat. Also save money, it's true. Sometimes you just need reassurance. That, like choosing the healthier path yes, it does change your circles, guys. Choosing the healthier path yes, it does change your circles, guys, when you're the people that need to get up at 6 am to go to your orange theory class versus the people that stayed out till 2 am at the bar.
Speaker 1:like that changes your circle or if you're me and you're doing both we're working on it not all the time, no, but it's true.
Speaker 3:It's true and you'll find too. Something I've found is that me pursuing a fitness journey has also coincided with a lot of people in my newer circle also pursuing fitness journeys where I started doing it. So I said come to the gym, just see what you think. And then they loved it and now they're doing gym stuff and weightlifting, loved it.
Speaker 2:And now they're doing gym stuff and weightlifting. And well, I have new clients who saw you doing the gym and reached out to me to start training. You know it's your, you were their initial. That's so crazy. Um, motivation and I mean kind of support, like posting on your stories and stuff. They're like, they're like okay, we're doing it, yeah, we're, let's, let's go for it, julia's doing it, I can do it.
Speaker 3:I'm truly the everyman like, look, if Julia could do this, I could definitely do this because, like I, like I don't know, I think it's a comms major thing, but I took a lot of personality tests and every strengths analysis test I've ever done has rated my discipline and my responsibility and my hopefulness as my bottom strengths. Every time, like I, just, it's a known thing that I really struggle with discipline and responsibility, so the reason I share that is because I have been able to pull this off not perfectly and I have definitely slipped in the last month when it comes to macros and all that good stuff, but that doesn't mean we're still getting the workouts in but that doesn't mean that you can't hop right back on and just keep going, like I see a lot of stuff where it says, oh, like I had a cheat day, how do I recover?
Speaker 3:You know it's like. Where it says, oh, like I had a cheat day, how do I recover? You know it's like, okay, it's, it's a cheat day because it's a blip. Like if it was a cheat day that ended your diet, it wouldn't be a cheat day, it would be the end of your diet. Yeah, it wouldn't qualify as a cheat day is, by definition, a blip. So just stuff like that, where even the least disciplined person I know ie myself like can pull off a specifically a weight loss journey, in particular because that requires so much work around food. Like, yeah, if I, if I can do this, you can do it. And the reason I've been able to do this is, in part, largely because I've been really vulnerable and opened up to a lot of people who, by the grace of the universe, have also been very kind in return so it's definitely not like, oh, I've done it all, but it's.
Speaker 3:It's just, it's very possible, it's very possible and you have to put yourself out there and it's worth it.
Speaker 2:I would say and I think, having those open conversations, you have been able to be like you know what, okay, I've been struggling, but like we're choosing myself again, we're choosing this again. And and I actually just saw something about that where it's like, sure, things get hard, you might fall off a little bit, but like, if you wake up and you're like, okay, I had these struggles, we're gonna choose me again, we're gonna try, because the second you give up and you're like, okay, I had these struggles, we're going to choose me again. We're going to try.
Speaker 2:Because the second you give up on yourself. That's when it falls. But if you're like you know what, I've done it, I can do it, or like I have the motivation to do it, I have the support to do it, yeah, then it's possible. And it is nice to find those support systems, so that nice to find those support systems so that you can talk to people, you can have vulnerable conversations with them about why you're struggling, and have them not make you necessarily be like go crawl in a hole because you screwed up, kind of thing. It's like okay, we screwed up, but where can we make those changes? When, like, what do you need help with?
Speaker 2:and I think even today we were like, okay, maybe snacking has been hard so let's find some things that you can have that maybe you like that, like sugar free jello it's like people forget that exists. It's awesome, it's so good. So there's just little, it's okay. We're gonna keep choosing ourselves and we're gonna, you know, believe in ourselves, that we can do it and even if things fall off a little bit, we'll revert back. It's okay. We're going to keep choosing ourselves and we're going to, you know, believe in ourselves that we can do it and even if things fall off a little bit, we'll revert back. It's going to be okay. And also, you haven't stopped going to the gym. No, so it's. You know, it's not like you're just sitting on the couch every night, so your blip, work through it. You know you're still choosing, choosing your try it again, yeah, yeah, and that's okay, yeah, so, and choosing your mental health and your apartment's cleaner every time keyword so it's awesome, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, all in all, find where your support's gonna come from. If it's not from your family, that's okay, and don't don't let that become a from. If it's not from your family, that's okay, and don't let that become a resentment. It's hard for everyone to be supportive of something like this because not everyone can do it and not everyone's gone through it, so they don't know how to support you. Yeah, and that's where open communication is great to show them how they can support you in that, if it's an online community that supports you, whitney Simmons has a really an online community that supports you.
Speaker 2:Um, whitney simmons has a really great online community too. That, you know, it's just motivation and like we're all in this together, as they say in high school musical, we're all in this together. The sacred text, yeah, the sacred text. So so yeah, it's, it's your journey. And find people who can walk alongside you and that, even if they're not doing the same thing, there's definitely ways they can support you. And whether it's the front desk person at the gym that just says hi every time and knows your name, that's okay.
Speaker 1:I love that. Just find what works. Find what you need.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you need a little support if you need a lot of support. Yeah, I mean, truly, that's kind of the gist of it. It's the key. It's the key to success. Any final thoughts?
Speaker 1:Julia.
Speaker 3:Just while you're looking for your support system, know that you are very much not alone, that lots of people like. As soon as I became more vulnerable and posting about weight loss and trying to get healthier online, a lot of people that I hadn't talked to in a long time reached out and said that they were going through the same thing. So just a reminder that people are out there waiting and they want to talk to you and it just it takes reaching out and being vulnerable yourself in order to to find them, to cast your net yeah what about you?
Speaker 2:kind of the same thing, just find. Find what you need. Everyone's different, everyone needs different things. Some people need more, some people need less. But whatever you do need, that's okay if you need a lot of support, if you, what do they say it takes.
Speaker 3:It takes an army yeah, it takes a village. Takes a village, sometimes an army um it takes a village and for some people it takes just one person yeah, and in case you're looking for an online community, you should follow us on at gggp underscore podcast on instagram, and then you can also email us at girls gains and growing pains at gmailcom, because ever since you mentioned online community, I cannot stop thinking about it, so keep an eye out.
Speaker 2:yeah, yes yeah, yes, and if you're looking for a coach, I'm taking on absolutely new online clients. I might start a rolling admission where. I always start at the top of the month, but I thought about maybe changing that to when people are ready to start, ready to start so and that community is growing. Alright, we grew a little bit this this upcoming month with a few more people. So if that's something you're interested in and maybe that's where you need your support is a coach then please, please, reach out.
Speaker 3:But 11 out of 10. Do you recommend? Thank you right here a testimonial.
Speaker 1:Testimonial live before your eyes.
Speaker 3:Yes, exactly, all right so that has been another episode of girls gains and growing pains.